Hello World! It’s Monday. Again. It just keeps happening, I know. Très horrible! I think we should probably just accept it and make the best of it… by reading the internet at work!
For my part, here’s a roundup of celebrity gossip.
- Let’s talk about Jessica Simpson’s body some more! Except, now that she’s totes pregnant and not just “fat” and wearing mom-jeans, we’ll all be nice about it.
- Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are in loooooooooooove. Or at least she’s in town to give him a bday boink. I was seriously holding out hope for an announcement that he had eloped with Sandy Bullock, but I guess I’ll just have to watch The Proposal again and dream.
- Benicio Del Toro was in the delivery room when his baby mama Kimberly Stewart gave birth, even though they aren’t romantically involved anymore. Now that is a random mix of parents for a kid. I hope she doesn’t get his eyebrows. Or his werewolf curse.
- Milla Jovavich is angry at Summit for only promoting their film Twilight: Let’s Make Lots of Money Off This Crappy Book, Part 1 and not her film, Three Musketers. Good for her for speaking up, but I hate to tell her it’s going to do badly whether they promote it or not. It’s because no film will ever replace the seminal Disney version starring Keifer Sutherland, Oliver Platt, and… oh, dammit, Charlie Sheen. WHY DO STOOPID MEN RUIN THINGS I LOVE?!?!
- Tyler Perry, if I didn’t know you were a Trekkie cause of your cameo in Abram’s Star Trek, I would never be able to forgive you for what you are about to do: make Kim Kardashian a legitimate actress.
- I’m not into body snark, but I have to admit that I sometimes can’t help myself with fashion snark (see: my long-standing obsession with Go Fug Yourself). Especially when someone looks like a 55-year old Dallas woman on her way to Lord & Taylor, when in reality they are Katherine Heigl, movie star.
- Fellow NY Governor’s Mansion resident and lover of white couches, Sandra Lee has a new Halloween special. I bet her, a bottle of vodka, and a Kwanzaa cake would be a gooooood time.
- Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey’s twins have 1 silly name but 2 adorable faces. Babies!!! Squeeeee!
- Loretta Lynn is in the hospital with pneumonia. I hope she feels better soon. And does another tour that brings here near me, since I still haven’t seen her live and she’s one of my favorite artists of all time. Cause, you know, I really only care about me… For really realz, feel better Loretta!