Since this is my first Rumor Mill post, I’ll give you a bit of background into my insatiable love for celebrity gossip. I’m sure that someone so thoughtful and intelligent as me liking such trash is very confusing for you readers. (ha! double ha!) Anyhow, when I was growing up, my Great-Grandma Elsie always had National Enquirers (and empty Pringles cans) at the nursing home, which would somehow end up being passed to my Grandma and then to my house, where I would voraciously consume them. I soon discovered that my brain had a fascinating ability to retain the information held within those tabloid pages. I can still remember gossip about Elizabeth Taylor and Larry the Contractor even though I was only seven and had no real understanding of who she was or her impact on our culture. I just knew she was famous and that these were salacious stories about her and that my brain made space for it at the expense of math and complex reasoning skills. Soap opera storylines had a similar ability. I can’t remember the names of the American presidents, but I can tell you what happened to Bo and Hope. And then Bo and Billie. And then Bo and Hope again. And then Bo and that other lady that played Billie who dated George Clooney in real life. See?! See?! I even remember that! Sigh…
Anyhow, sufficed to say, I love gossip, still. This love is a bit more complicated now, as I’m older and an avid feminist who deplores body snark, gender norms, and conspicuous consumption. Which, you know, sells magazines. But it’s still there and sometimes you just can’t fight how you feel. Or what facts your brain remembers. Plus, it makes me good at Quizzo.
AND NOW… back to why I can’t stand Gwyneth Paltrow.
