So, a few weeks after I got maligned by Julie Klausner for pointing out an essay on hipster racism her problematic language in an interview in Bust, this new show Girls came out. And it has been either widely lauded or horrible criticized for not being everything that we all want… Oh and for only having white people in it, as if that’s what New York is really like. However, unlike Sex and the City, which also had this problem, people have been so much harder on Girls. I think it’s because 10+ years have passed and the awesomeness of just being lucky enough to have a show that was women-centered and sex positive, albeit problematic, has worn of. We want Lena Dunham’s creation to be more: to be all of what we liberal, feminist young women are today. And, obviously, we want for the show’s fellow writers to not make “ironic” racist jokes and TOTALLY NOT GET HOW IT’S A PROBLEM.

Except, of course, that’s totally unfair. Not the “don’t be racist” part, the “be everything I am part.” Yes, it would be great to have more women of color on tv. But the fact that Girls has become a lightening rod is because it appears to be the only one of its kind standing out in the field during a thunderstorm. There are more women on tv, not all great (Whitney, Chelsea), but very few are acting in feminist ways. And those that are (Parks and Recreation, Shonda Rhimes’s shows) are not about young women trying to make it after college. When you want something to reflect your experience so badly, of course you are going to either love it too much or criticize it into pieces.

Anyhow, I haven’t actually watched Girls yet. I’ve been to0 nervous to with all the hubbub around it. Will I love it, despite knowing its problematic relationship with race and privilege? Will I hate it, despite it honestly showing women’s reproductive choices? Will I not care at all and wish I had both my time and my DVR space back? It’s too much right now…