❆ 1/2 Mitten ❆

Well friends, I am a really nice person. Like, the best person ever. Why, you ask? Because I read Fifty Shades of Grey, so you don’t have to. I mean, unless you wanna read really poorly written smut based on Twilight. Then, by all means, this is the book for you.

I’m not really sure where to begin. I guess with a little about the book. Written by some British lady named E.L. James, apparently the story began as Twilight fan fiction and then, with some name changes, an underground ebook hit. Oh and part of this new fad called “Mommy Porn,” and appeals, I guess, to all the Twi-hard mothers out there who got kicks out of Stephanie Meyer’s chastity-based series. The ‘Bella’ of Fifty Shades is a literature student named Anastasia who has is a virgin and has no idea that any boys have every liked her. Just like Bella in Twilight who cannot fathom why she’s worth existing or talking to until Edward likes her. Actually, until she becomes a vampire and awesomely sparkly. Christian (Edward), is a wealthy billionaire who is young and sexy and into BDSM. And so begins a true love story of our time, when klutzy brunette interviews sexypants Christian, make his dingle dangle point towards her like due north. By “true love story” I obviously mean kinda graphic sex scenes punctuated by really stupid plots about drug addict mothers, feelings, and vengeful bosses.  Continue reading →