Bunched Panties: Gwynnie Is Judging Your Uterus For Being Empty

Since this is my first Rumor Mill post, I’ll give you a bit of background into my insatiable love for celebrity gossip. I’m sure that someone so thoughtful and intelligent as me liking such trash is very confusing for you readers. (ha! double ha!) Anyhow, when I was growing up, my Great-Grandma Elsie always had National Enquirers (and empty Pringles cans) at the nursing home, which would somehow end up being passed to my Grandma and then to my house, where I would voraciously consume them. I soon discovered that my brain had a fascinating ability to retain the information held within those tabloid pages. I can still remember gossip about Elizabeth Taylor and Larry the Contractor even though I was only seven and had no real understanding of who she was or her impact on our culture. I just knew she was famous and that these were salacious stories about her and that my brain made space for it at the expense of math and complex reasoning skills. Soap opera storylines had a similar ability. I can’t remember the names of the American presidents, but I can tell you what happened to Bo and Hope. And then Bo and Billie. And then Bo and Hope again. And then Bo and that other lady that played Billie who dated George Clooney in real life. See?! See?! I even remember that! Sigh…

Anyhow, sufficed to say, I love gossip, still. This love is a bit more complicated now, as I’m older and an avid feminist who deplores body snark, gender norms, and conspicuous consumption. Which, you know, sells magazines. But it’s still there and sometimes you just can’t fight how you feel. Or what facts your brain remembers. Plus, it makes me good at Quizzo.

AND NOW… back to why I can’t stand Gwyneth Paltrow.

Gwyneth is one of those people I find so absolutely charming in her films (well, in Sliding Doors and Emma and Possession. She sucks in everything else) and yet when I read any quote from her, I end up on the first train to Stabby Central. She is from such a place of privilege, she really has no ability to recognize or see that privilege. She seems to believe that she has all that she has because she WORKED hard and if other people, us peons, would just spend 3 hours a day doing the Tracy Anderson How To Damage Your Internal Organs By Not Eating And Overexercising But At Least You’re Skinny Method, they too would be AWESOME. And have disordered eating. And not have time to work their job that pays for bills and kids and life and such. Details, schmetails!! You just have to WANT it like she does, people. Just make it a priority!! ::smh::

According to a recent interview with E!, she also apparently thinks that unless you’ve had children, your life has no meaning. That you’ve accomplished nothing…

“I think motherhood is the biggest blessing of all time and it gives your life real meaning. It’s always interesting when you’re a woman with success and you’ve achieved a lot, and then you have a baby and you realize everything you thought was an achievement really is nothing until you have a kid.”

Well, maybe if your life has consisted of making View from the Top, living with a taciturn “serious musician” husband who won’t even take the time to teach you guitar, and writing a newsletter about $1400 weekender bags for the man in your life, having a child would make it more fulfilling. But some of us 1) don’t want (or can’t) have children 2) find satisfaction in our life’s pursuits 3) are complete human beings separate from our sex organs. I absolutely abhor the constant chatter from celebrities, facebook friends, and the Universe that having a child is the ultimate thing we can do in this life. Maybe, for some people, it is. I love my nephew and helping make sure he grows up loved, healthy, and happy does give me a sense of satisfaction like no other. He’s my dude. But I also get a similarly moving feeling when I volunteer with youth, or when I change someone’s perspective on rape culture or women’s rights or social justice, or when I create something. I refuse to buy into the gender-norm idea that I am an incomplete woman until my womb gets used. I am not my uterus or its output. I am my actions and my words and my community.

Seriously, tho, good for Gwynnie that she has found a sense of purpose with her children. Now SHUT UP so I can watch your movies, lady.

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2 thoughts on “Bunched Panties: Gwynnie Is Judging Your Uterus For Being Empty

  1. [...] what was printed. Here’s the Q and A segment, which begins with another one of those “you don’t understand life until you’ve had a kid” bs comments, so you can see for yourself: Bust: I feel like birth is just the first instance of you have no say [...]

  2. [...] out of control.” Here’s the Q and A segment, which begins with another one of those “you don’t understand life until you’ve had a kid” bs comments, so you can see it for yourself: Bust: I feel like birth is just the first instance of you having [...]

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